Very often we are seeking something from God. We pray and fast but nothing happens. We are sincere in our desire. We pursue but nothing happens. This was what happened for me with one specific desire for many years. The process begun seven years ago.
On this faithful day I watched several episodes of Sidroth and Pastor Benny Hinn’s miracle crusades. Faith swelled up in my heart. I was fully convinced that Jesus still healed today. Just back in the day.
The room was filled with the Presence of the Holy Spirit. I was shaken. Spiritual hymns, praises and songs came from my mouth as I watched. Desire swelled within me. Right at that moment I closed my eyes and asked God to heal my eyes.
In that very instance my glasses broke. There were perfectly fine. An suddenly they were in two pieces. I sat bewildered. “What happened?”
Sudden panic overtook me. “What will I do?” I had no health coverage. I was completely dependent on God. I couldn’t imagine life without them. Little did I realize how I had trapped myself in a prison. For decades they brought clarity to my life. Only with those lens was it possible to see the world clearly. Acute nearsightedness and astigmatism made seeing distance objects difficult. I was entirely dependent on them to observe subtle nuances in human interaction and behavior that others overlooked.
Fear stopped me from thinking rationally. Never once did I think about asking the Big G about what happened.
In the evening God told a friend to call me.
“Brother Michael, God says He will heal your eyes but you must go deeper.” She advised.
“I must do what?!”
“You must go deeper!”
“What does that mean?”
“I do not know.”
I was left completely confused. Neither of us had a clue what God meant. We were very green to hearing the voice of God and even conversing with Him. Seeking advise from our elders was completely out of the question. They prided themselves on shutting down new converts. Persons such as myself who came from a Methodist background was viewed with great suspicion. Most church members were silently advised to avoid me.
At the advise of the Holy Spirit we went to pray for people and saw healing but did not understand how to access it for our self. Or understood the process. All we knew was to move in obedience to the Spirit’s leading.
Lighting Strikes Twice
Two years later I attended a prophetic and miracle conference at Celebration Church, at Half-Way-Tree, Kingston Jamaica and was miraculously healed. An Evangelist declared that God was giving people new eyes. The moment he said it, I felt my eyes being pulled out and replaced. My vision became perfect. I could see his face on the screen approximately 15 feet away. For the first time in decades distant objects were not blurry. For a minute I was frozen. I could not believe it! Instead of rejoicing I begun to overthink the process. For 5 minutes I surveyed everything. Then without warning my visioned blurred again.
Why did I lose my healing? I could not understand what happened.
In June 2014, several months later, I attend a Sunday morning service at The Father’s Heart Christian Center, Fort Lauderdale, Florida. After worship the power of God fell. Everyone was caught up in the glory. The Holy Spirit took over. He begun ministering individually to people.
“Go stand at the back door” came the voice of the Holy Spirit to me. I instantly knew why I was being sent to stand guard and quickly obeyed.
As I stood in position and watched, my ears popped open. Words spoken in tongues by a Pastor caught my attention. As the words came in my inner ear I heard the interpretation. She magnified God in her heavenly language but I heard English.
Without warning it happened again. God touched my eyes. My vision became perfect. Reading everything around was easy. Signs, facial expressions, minute details at a distance could easily be read. I was apprehensive but rejoiced inside. In an instance, my vision readjusted. Every distant object became blurred.
This time I sought answers from the Holy Spirit.
“What is happening? God why? Don’t you want to heal me?”
There was no answer. Only Silence.
Although that happened. I still continued to believe in healing. There was no backing down from praying for people to receive their healing. Being around others who believed also made it easy to simply continue to believe. We saw deliverance and healing for people but I still had the problem.
Answer in An Unlikely Place
One year later, the Lord told me to attend some services at King Jesus Ministry, under the leadership of Apostle Guillermo Maldonado. My immediate desire was to join the ministry but that was not to be. My mission was merely to observe and learn for a short period. On the last day I attended, people were being healed of metal and various ailments in their body. Hunger for my healing swelled up in my heart. I desperately wanted it. Surely this must be the place. I had requested prayer at other churches. Hands were laid on me and nothing happened. Surely this was the appointed time.
I sprinted to the prayer line. My heart was overflowing with joy as I waited.
Then the Word of the Lord came to me.
“You will not be healed through someone. I will heal you”, said His still small voice
“You must press in for your healing. You must learn about healing. Pray for others to be healed. Teach them how to pray for the healing of others.”
I wanted to turn back but it was too late. I was at the front of the line. I went forward. Despite what I knew I politely accepted being ministered to. Hands were laid on me. I fell out under the power. Came up after a few minutes and nothing happened. I felt deflated.
God was gracious though. The morning I woke I knew I had gotten something. I was speaking with new tongues. The anointing was flowing differently. That consoled me.
There is A Time and Place
The greatest lesson I have learnt is that DELAY DOES NOT MEAN DENIAL. It simply means you must push harder. Know also that there is a place and time. Had I not been selfish perhaps I would have received the healing much sooner. But God had to take me through a very long process to teach me compassion for the suffering of others.
My desire was simply to sit in the back bench. And relish His presence at home. I would be contented to be one of the intercessors that just spend hours in prayer at home. Just me and God. That would be delightful but wants us to look beyond our self.
He wants us to understand that we are not bastards. We are heirs to a numerous blessings. He’s blessed us so we may be a blessing to others. All that we need is already ours but we must never turn a blind eye to the suffering of others. Being His friend means that you must understand His heart. He came not to be served but to serve. It was for people that He came. We must do the same.
It took me seven years to understand that my breakthrough would come swiftly, if only I simply acted in obedience and served others. Most teachings I received only taught me to look out for number one. Jesus was only to be pursued for very selfish reasons. He desires that we move beyond our small circle.
There are many people in need of the Savior’s touch. You are His hands and feet. He needs you to step into the field. Be a blessing to someone. The very thing that you have been praying for be that answer for someone else. Embrace the fullness of His plans. All that is desired with be given.
Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. 36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37 Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. 38 Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”
– Matthew 9:35-38