You may have read my previous articles about my recent marriage. Given the response to the articles and issues that have risen while counseling single and married saints, I realized that it is very important that we share our experience.
Our union was done by God’s design. Had we attempted to do it on our own we would have messed it up. We would have passed each other. Most likely that we would have never met! God’s hand shifted and position us to bring us together.
Although it was His will, we still had to undergo process. It took five years before the Lord gave us His approval for us to be married. The Lord used a very fiery process to prepare us for marriage. It was our commitment to the Lord and faith in His promise that kept us.
Our faith was tested numerous times. There were times when we walked away from the promise. Times when I did not believe but God kept speaking of His promise and putting us back together. Ultimately, it was our love for Him which won in the end. Without that factor, our love for each other would not have persevered against the conflicts, trials, attacks and testings that came.
It is our hope that our transparency will help you to understand why God provides a spouse and why He allows fire, storms and contrary winds to test and forge an unbreakable bond. I also hope that it will provide counsel and comfort for your union or help you see the design of God’s plan in your union.
May you be encouraged to rest in God, as you await the unfolding of your Boaz, Sarah, Ruth or Esther.
God Created Man
And the Lord God took man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dresss it and keep it. – Genesis 2:15
In the beginning God created a very beautiful garden. He placed it east of Eden. In the garden were many trees, flowers, animals and various other creatures. It was filled with the beauty of creation and the glory of the Living God. Here heaven and earth merged. There was constant interaction with God and the angelic hosts of heaven. A river ran through the garden to water it but it needed to be tended. Someone was needed to maintain order.
So God created man in his own image and likeness to tend the garden. Many was given dominion and authority over every animal and blessed by God. He was charged to be fruitful, multiply and replenish the earth. Results were expected daily. Every success had to be replicated. It was man’s responsibility to ensure the atmosphere of the garden remained. It was not to remain localized to Eden but was to be expanded all over the earth.
Man was named Adam. His daily duties involved taking care of the animals and tending to everything else in the garden. He was the only man but he was not alone. He had angelic assistance. When help was needed for a task the angels would take on physical form and provide assistance. When Adam needed to understand something the Elohim, God, would teach him. Adam was full of faith. He knew the power and might of his Creator and the abilities he possessed. He placed no limitations on himself. Whatever he needed he spoke into existence. His connection to the Living God was at a molecular level. He had the very DNA of God in him. Every fiber of his body was filled with the glory. Nothing was impossible. He never thought twice about his assignment. Anything that he did not understand, as he contemplated on it the Creator would come beside him and immediately begin to teach him. He never had to go to little room or corner to pray.
Communication with God was effortless. They communed 24/7. He dwelt in the Presence of the Lord; the fullness of the glory. To Adam there was no distinction between the natural and the spiritual. They were one and the same. Anything that God showed him in the spiritual realm that was to be in the physical realm he spoke into existence. When a tree was to be created he simply spoke.
“Tree come forth!”
The tree would immediately come forth out of the ground. Fully ripe fruit would be on its branches. It was always ready to provide food.
God watched Adam work diligently, without complaining. Everything was done with joy and gladness of heart. Day after day He worked to accomplish the will of the Father. As Adam worked God observed him. He saw the question in Adam’s heart.
“These animals have a companion, where is my companion. When do I get someone that looks like me.”
The Creator felt the loneliness of man. He wanted a companion that was compatible to him.
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
– Genesis 2:18,21-22
So God performed a miracle for Adam. He put him to sleep and took a rib from his chest and created his helpmate. Then God took her to Adam. When Adam saw her he declared.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. – Genesis 2:24
A greater level of the anointing came on Adam. His tongue loosened and he begun to prophesy. In that instance He spoke what was in the mind of God – ‘The law of Marriage’. The union between a man and his wife is established and maintained as a lasting covenant between a man and a woman when the two become one flesh. Two individuals became one. Bible tells us that in the beginning God created man, male and female. He called them Adam. In the eyes of God they were one. There was no distinction in their name. The same is true for couples. He does not see the difference in the gender. He sees one soul. A perfect soul tie.
This is why separation and divorce leaves a wound in the soul. I digress, let me get back to the point.
Every union that God has joined has followed this pattern. The Lord has not deviated from his original pattern for preparing a husband and then giving him his wife. Cain’s son in his rebellion took married two wives but this was not the perfect will of God.
The Lord permitted the union for our education. Every polygamous marriage has had multiplied conflict. We see that being evident in the relationship of Jacob, Leah and Rebecca; in the relationship of the two wives of Elkanah, Hannah and Peninah (See 1 Samuel 1). There is competition for the husband’s affection, jealousy, feelings of neglect, under-appreciation or inadequacy.
Photo Credit: Original garden images from Pexels.